Standard Deviation

Took my car in for service this morning, so I spent a bit of yesterday evening plotting an alternate route to work. It's such a small thing, but it was a great feeling to deviate from my usual routine of driving down to the town bus stop and taking the same bus that I take every day.

The minor challenge of having to figure something out and being unsure of the physical outcome was refreshing. Lately, I've been trying to detach myself from depending on novelty for satisfaction. The longer I pursue this, though, the more I'm beginning to think that we're actually made to thrive on novelty. Not in a superficial, fleeting way, that permeates much of affluent society, but, at the core, to seek after experiences that encompass meaningful struggles and challenges.

I've been thinking a lot about moving out, lately. For a while I thought it would be wiser to stay home and save money to buy a place, but these days I'm starting to think that, more important than actually owning my own property, I want to be cast back out into life and forced to fend for myself.

One of the things I enjoyed most about living abroad was the challenge of being unsure of my next destination. I'd wander around half confused because I couldn't understand 60% of what people were saying to me. I loved getting lost in the middle of the night, strolling down random dark alleys (albeit in a very safe city) and stumbling upon new, undiscovered places.

I like not knowing what tomorrow will bring, but, with the understanding that, ultimately, I'm taken care of. Of course, day after day of this gets draining, but spending energy on true adventure is much more rewarding than hoarding that energy for the mundane.